Written by Bob Muppet
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Friday, 5 October 2001

image for Beckham in shock alien transfer
ET plays football?

Bert Wilson claimed that he was the victim of a cruel prank, carried out by alien beings.

The mystery involved the transfer of David Beckham, the world famous English footballer, by aliens!

Bert, who was still visibly shaken by the experience, went on to describe the sinister series of circumstances leading up to Beckham's transfer.

"I am a football fanatic", confessed Bert. "I live with me mam in a council flat and me only pleasure is football, football, football! -- I think that's why the aliens picked on me."

"Our little flat is a shrine to football and we have photos and souvenirs everywhere, but me pride and joy is me fridge magnets that I got free with me cornflakes".

"Oh yeah, they are really something special because they have all the present England team -- I might have guessed that the blinking aliens would pick on them!" he sobbed.

"I had me fridge magnet team set out in just the same positions as the England/Germany, 5 goals to 1 massacre game. I checked that they were alright before I went to bed, but when I went downstairs the next morning I found that Beck's had been put in goal -he had been transferred!

"It must have been an alien to have done such a stupid thing", reasoned Bert.

"It might have been your mate who read the electricity meter this morning, before you got up" suggested Bert's mummy.

"Nah!" replied Bert, "Wolfgang Schmit has been a friend of mine for years."

"Yup, it was aliens" said Bert in a defiant manner, "Definitely aliens!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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