Written by Scott Nairns
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Monday, 19 May 2008

image for Cardiff City Scum Cause Mayhem, And Pompey Too!
The Big Fat One At 2 O'Clock, Watch Him Pop!

Police today are reliving Saturday's mayhem outside Wembley stadium as 90,000 fans poured out into the Capital.

Police were already on high alert after last weeks UEFA Cup Match in Manchester, when one lost Cardiff City fan asked an officer for directions home.

"It all kicked off, complete bedlam, but the frightening thing was all the wee red dots on everyone. I looked up and there were snipers on all the rooftops. It was scary, i just kept on walking", the scum football supporter claimed.

As most made their way quietly, and piled onto nearby trains, some hardenend moustachioed Portsmouth fans got into a bit of finger waving which is normally caught on poor quality cctv but a police helicopter swooped down and a crack armed unit abseiled down to get involved.

Later, a police officer was dismounted from his horse and the horse was put on the underground.
No-one has claimed responsibility for the attack, but a bag of leeks left for the animal suggest the animal loving Cardiff fans were responsible.

As things drew to a close, Police made 150 arrests, for nothing other than to keep the courts busy on Monday, really, one of which was Harry Redknapp who had fallen asleep on his way to the coach.

His 'sleeping in a public place' charge could be more serious after he allegedly tried to bribe the desk sergeant at Scotland Yard.

The Prime Minister was quoted as saying, "Pfft".(which is more than usual).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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