Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 17 May 2008

image for Cristiano Ronaldo In Confusing Message Confusion
This man tries to imagine what on Earth it is Ronaldo is talking about

There was much shock, astonishment and other types of surprise at Old Trafford today, when Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo indicated that he may not be at the club much longer.

Ronaldo, who has scored 41 goals for the Reds this season, said that, despite being happy at United now, he wasn't prepared to speculate on his future beyond next Wednesday's Champions League Final against Chelsea in Moscow.

The Portuguese star told fans on the club's website:

"I very happy here in Madchest. Lesssee woss after Chempion League Chelsea nex week match, mate. Iss future, no?"

After several worried and confused United fans rang the club to ask what the nature of Ronaldo's comments were, the player added more, explaining:

"I play in United very good. Esta...esta...sorry, my Ingliss no goodly. I don't...er...Wayne Rooney custard Hacienda bollox darling. Yesss!"

The player is expected to play in Moscow on Wednesday despite sustaining a slight injury to his penalty-appealing finger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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