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Thursday, 15 May 2008

Manchester,13th May - The celebrations following Manchester United's 17th title win last Sunday were yet to die down,when the club's supporters were dealt a rude shock by the announcement of the clubs star striker-masquerading-as-winger leaving the club.

Cristiano Ronaldo, 24, has declared that she is leaving United for the Real Madrid ladies team. The football world was jolted even more by the fact that Ronaldo's leaving for free, with the move coming off as a Boswoman transfer. What compounded the shock of the move is that it came in a season, when the winger was chased by top teams around the world like Real Madrid F.C. (Mens' of course) quoting sums above 100 million Euros.

Ronaldo revealed the sudden turn of events exclusively to TheSpoof.com, "I'd been to see the doc about the magnetic field effect I experienced when coming near defenders about to tackle. The tests proved it was a result of hormonal imbalance. It's a shame that the refs here don't protect skillful players like me from such maladies.

"The doc says that the wailing and whining which unwittingly seeps out of me onfield is also a direct consequence of this disease. A surgery was advised by the specialists. I chose to turn into a woman because the doc said turning into a man would involve more complications and a longer surgery. I'm afraid of that. So, the choice was between turning into a woman or remaining a wum. I hope I made the right choice."

Concerning the move to Madrid, she says "I've always been fascinated by the climate in Madrid. I've friends there. I look forward to the new challenge."

Sir Alex remains unavailable for comment.His number two, Carlos Queiroz spoke to TheSpoof.com outside the dressing room amidst whirring sounds from inside and an occasional boot flying outside.

"Something is wrong with football. Ronaldo fell unconscious 3 times during the operation, but not even one penalty was awarded by the hospital. It seems the doc should bring a gun and shoot him for it to be given"

He declined further comments on the effect this will have on his Portuguese coup planned to overthrow Sir Alex and evaded questions on whether Nani, another Portuguese import, would follow Ronaldo out, his medical condition looking similar to the star striker-masquerading-as-winger's, from the footage of the match against West Ham.

The Spoof throws light on the Boswoman ruling, the rule which made this dream move possible.

The Boswoman ruling is a 2005 European Court of Justice decision concerning freedom of movement for female workers, freedom of association and direct effect of article 39 (formerly 48) of the EC Treaty. The case was an important decision on the free movement of ladies and had a profound effect on the transfers of transsexual football players within the EU. The case banned restrictions of foreign EU members within the national leagues and transsexuals who attain womanhood in the European Union (EU) to move freely to another club at whatever time they please in their term of contract with their present team.

Meanwhile, The Real Madrid Women's team manager expressed delight at the acquisition. "I hope Ronnie will help us move into the first division, and more importantly, have fun with us".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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