Written by matwil
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Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Rangers fans, many not from Glasgow, or even Scotland, were celebrating tonight, as Rangers lost the UEFA Cup final against amateur girls' team, Smirnoff Nobodies.

Many supporters proudly waved Union Jacks and sang Orange marching songs for their team after the game, despite the fact that most Protestant Scots hate the Union flag, and don't know where Northern Ireland is.

One fanatical bluenose, the Reverend Ian McCoist, said this: 'We was gubbed by a team of grannies and nobodies, I can't wait to get back to Scottish Cup business, then we can beat an even worse set of losers than us.'

But ex-Rangers manager, Dick Advocaat-with-ice, said: 'Bet they wish I voz their manager again, Smith is almost as bad a choice to lead a team as Jock Brown!'

Gordon Strachan, Weegie rivals' Celtic manager, had this to say: 'Ha ha ha!!!'

But on a serious note, the Manchester police admitted: 'Jeez, we didn't dare even arrest a single Scot, we didn't fancy another Barcelona.'

Martin MacGuiness has left the building, and is wondering about the the possibilities of Manchester's city centre being rebuilt, but Walter Smith's team will be put on Ebay tomorrow, at the price of eighteen pence, and a can of Tennent's Special.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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