Written by Jesus Budda
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Monday, 12 May 2008

image for Next Seasons English Premier League will consist of Only 4 Teams
Shrewsbury Town fans celebrate by burning their mascot - Jar Jar Binks

The British football governing body is drawing up plans to make the 2008-2009 Premier league season accessible to just four teams.

The clubs are Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal and surprisingly Shrewsbury Town.

"We looked at things such as television rights, season ticket sales, number of good-looking woman in the crowd and merchandising", said Chief Executive of the English Football Association Dick Wad, " and came quickly to the conclusion that people only want to watch Man U, Chelsea, Arsenal and Shrewsbury town. So we've dumped the other lot and focused on making money from this bunch".

The 'left-over' teams will now all compete against each other in a 'Super' league of badly attended games in local parks and playgrounds across Wales. They have un-officially been banned from setting foot in England again.

Also all their old soccer grounds will be sold on to developers to be transformed into lovely car parks.

Shrewsbury town supporter, In Seine, said he was 'delighted' at the news.

"It will really put this place on the map. Literally. As it is we don't actually know where we are and cannot leave the area because we're afraid we'll get lost and won't find our way back", he shrugged.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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