Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 9 May 2008

image for Steve Bruce In Fracas With Groundsman Over Cows Grazing On Pitch
The scene at the JJB yesterday

Steve Bruce, the Wigan Athletic boss, has fallen out with Latics' head groundsman Alf Giles after it was alleged that the latter had allowed cows to graze on the JJB Stadium pitch to "churn it up" in time for the visit of Manchester United on Sunday.

The playing surface at Wigan is not one of the best in the Premier League, and is often regarded as a "great leveller" by managers of teams who like to play the game properly or "along the floor".

Arsene Wenger likened it to a ploughed field after Arsenal drew 0-0 there in March.

Bruce, who used to play for United, and therefore, wants them to win the title, went absolutely ballistic after he discovered that Mr Giles, a former farmer, had introduced a herd of Fresians to the pitch on Monday, who have been nibbling away ever since.

Spokesman for the club, Stu Cudd, said:

"Steve was pretty angry. He still loves United, and this was an extremely ill-advised move from Farmer Giles. Had we needed three points from this game to stay up, that might have been a different matter."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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