Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 9 May 2008

image for Wenger May Turn To Women Next Season
More interesting at the Emirates next season?

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has told fans on the club's website that, as a result of his side's disappointing finish to this year's campaign, he may recruit several of the Arsenal Ladies team next season.

The Gunners have run out of steam at a crucial time once too often for the Frenchman, and he has identified a group of ladies that, he thinks, will be able to take the team to the next level, and challenge for the Premiership title.

Kelly Smith, scorer of two goals in the ladies' 4-1 thrashing of Leeds United in the FA Cup Final at the weekend, is one of them, and the England international would no doubt push Nicholas Bendtner for his place.

This would please Bendtner's fellow striker Emmanuel Adebayor, who famously 'fell out' with, and headbutted, the Swede in a game against Tottenham earlier in the season. Adebayor is known to like blondes, and would also like to 'bone' Smith.

With the departures of Mathieu Flamini to AC Milan, Cesc Fabregas to Real Madrid, and Alexander Hleb to Torquay, Wenger may also have to strengthen his midfield. If he does, he may look for a bruiser from the ladies team to fill the gap left by Flamini, an could do worse than Rachel Yankey, who has a funny name.

Whatever Wenger decides to do, you can be sure that, this time next season, Manchester United and Chelsea will be battling it out in another two-horse race for the Premiership title, with Arsenal gasping for breath back in third place.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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