Written by Norton Folgate
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Sunday, 4 May 2008

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Rock bottom Premiership strugglers Derby County have been dealt a massive blow with the Premiership taking steps to dock them points, thought to be in the region of 15 as a result of them being so bad this season.

Rams Manager Paul Jewell said 'this is terrible for everyone connected at the club; we will now finish on a minus figure and therefore will be deemed the worst club to grace the Premiership. My players have worked very hard to make a fist of it so to dock us points would be an absolute injustice'.

Jewell himself is already preparing for life in next seasons Championship where he will steer Derby to a play off position where he will ensure they narrowly miss promotion and therefore their fans will not be forced to witness their team concede goals by the barrow load.

Meanwhile, promoted West Brom and soon to be joining them Stoke City will adopt the same tact when they are relegated from next season's premiership.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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