Written by Norton Folgate
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 3 May 2008

image for Time on their Side
A Stop Watch

It's official! Manchester United fans get the best value for money in the Premiership.

The average football fan watches 90 minutes plus added time, normally 3-5 minutes each game for such incidents as substitutions, injuries or other such stoppages to play. Premier League statisticians have calculated that when they (Man U) are drawing or losing, the total time added on was calculated to a net total of 74.24 hours, a little over 3 days. By allowing Manchester United to continue to play until the desired outcome (ie a win) would ultimately be achieved.

The self styled Theatre of Dreams (the public kept confusing their ground with Old Trafford Cricket Ground) is not a happy one for away teams with only Man U's arch rivals City winning there this season.

After that game, City Manager Sven Goren Eriksson complained 'that when Man U were 1-2 down, there was 38 minutes of added time. They really attacked us with the referee and linesmen going close with efforts on the City goal.

At one point when City had a direct free kick awarded against them due a Man U foul on a City player, the referee and the 4th official got into an argument as to which one of them would take it for Man U.

City managed to hang on but other teams were not so lucky.

Make Norton Folgate's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 2?

9 24 8 5
38 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more