Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 25 April 2008

image for Thierry Henry In Possible Return To English Football
Henry won't miss this eyesore

Thierry Henry, the Barcelona star, has indicated in an interview with the BBC that he is ready for a return to English football, but would only be prepared to sign for either Arsenal or Manchester United or Chelsea or Liverpool or Tottenham or Newcastle or Aston Villa or Everton or several other big clubs.

The French player who, according to my wife, is "sophisticated and stunningly good-looking", was talking to the BBC's boggle-eyed Garth Crooks after the 0-0 draw with Manchester United on Tuesday.

Henry, 30, played for Arsenal for eight seasons before leaving the London club in 2007, but says he misses English life and things that cannot be easily got hold of in Spain, like good fish and chips, and incessant rain.

The player's agent has been in touch with several clubs, but no deal is yet on the table, apart from "a quite ridiculous offer" from Championship side Hull City.

Recently he was asked if he wouldn't like to end his career in France, but shrugged:

"I hate France! The Eiffel Tower is an eyesore!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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