Rome - (Balls-Up Mess): "It's a real man's game," ex-Juventus MD Luciano Moggi said today, "not like golf where rampant homosexuality is thrust at you, like it or not.
"And ever since FIFA dumped those cute teensy-weensy high-thigh shorts there's been nothing remotely gay about the sport in Europe. Truss me."
Moggi's rant about the homosexualization of the beautiful game comes amid corruption charges.
These allege he personally initiated new players in the club's shower cubicles during his tenure of orifice at the Italian side.
"And then that David Beckham came," Moggi continued, "for a trial run before his Real Madrid stint.
"I said bugger off Becks! Or try some Scientology hellhole like Los Angeles if you can't straighten out! And of course he did."
Moggi has also insisted that gay men can't do the job of a footballer, "especially the standing around naked in the shower bit."
Justin Fashanu is 69.