Written by Tom Brogan
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Topics: America, Premiership

Friday, 5 October 2001

image for Old Firm to join Rollerball League

As confusion hangs over their entry into the English Premiership, Celtic and Rangers have turned elsewhere in their desperate attempt to finish 7th and 8th in the league by moving to America to join one of the successful Rollerball leagues.

The league based on the ultra-violent 1975 James Caan movie is sure to be money spinning and suitable to the playing style of Old firm stars John Hartson and Lorenzo Amoruso.

"This is perfect," said Celtic supremo Desmond Dekker. "The big bucks will soon be rolling in. The whole point of Rollerball is to release the anti-social feeling of the masses and nothing fits that bill like the Old Firm and their fans."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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