Written by Hippy fish
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Wednesday, 9 April 2008

image for It's penis payback time, for Kolo Toure!
John Terry catches sight of Toure's penis. Looks like it added value to his day.

The champions league quarter final clash between Liverpool and arsenal at Anfield last night proved to be eventful, entertaining, and also controversial.

Arsenal started thee match with a spring in their step, and their efforts paid off when they scored. Arsenal seemed to be playing well, but when Liverpool equalized, Arsenal's confidence was crushed.

It went down hill for arsenal from then on. And when a controversial penalty was awarded to Liverpool, things looked really bad for the gunners. Kolo Toure denied fouling the Liverpool player, saying it wasn't him... it was someone else... No one knew what he meant, so after the final whistle (4-2 to Liverpool) we stalked Kolo to get some answers.

"you see, it wasn't me, it was my penis!" says Kolo Toure. "It's out for revenge!"

Revenge, what could he mean?

"well, i have trouble bringing ladies home, and my penis gets very angry when i deprive him of such needs! And now, its penis payback time!" At this point, Kolo runs away, screaming like a little girl, shouting "Down, boy, down!"

We spoke to the senior management team at arsenal, who say Toure's penis has a life of it's own, and attempted to attack the Liverpool player's. This is how the penalty was given away.

Of course, we doubt this is actually true. Toure's penis is just yet another person Arsene Wenger is able to blame for the defeat.

With every passing week, Arsene Wenger is being pushed nearer and nearer towards the exit. This week, it's Toure's penis that's doing the pushing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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