Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 7 April 2008

image for Cardiff City To Be Thrown Out Of English League
Fans at a poxy Welsh League game on Saturday

Cardiff City, the one and only Welsh club to ever have played in the English League - apart from Swansea City, Wrexham and Newport County - may be thrown out of football if they persist with 'making an issue' out of playing in Europe next season, sources have said.

Cardiff would qualify to play in the UEFA Cup if they beat Portsmouth in the FA Cup Final next month, but the English FA are saying that only English clubs can be entered into the competition, thus barring the Bluebirds.

Now, though, UEFA themselves have handed Cardiff a lifeline by suggesting they may be offered a Wildcard Entry into the UEFA Cup, and have annoyed the FA in the process.

UEFA President Michel Platini has given his full backing to Cardiff, and says that he has always been a fan of the Ninian Park club and their mob, the Soul Crew. In a statement on the UEFA website, he said:

"Zut alors! Zay fight like animals! Maybe zis is why ze FA don't want zem in ze UEFA Cup, because zer fans will run riot all over Europe. If I af my way, zay will play."

English FA spokesman Ted Dorke said:

"Those meddling bastards! We'll stop Cardiff's little game! If UEFA allow them into the UEFA Cup, we'll kick them out of our leagues and into the poxy Welsh leagues, where they'll play teams like The New Saints FC, Airbus UK and Newi Cefn Druids. Tossers! Let's see how they like that!"

Nobody knows what UEFA stands for.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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