Written by Jesus Budda
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Friday, 2 May 2008

image for Crocodile Tears Over Lost Ball
Fifi the playful poodle - R.I.P

Plenty of crocodile tears were shed today following the loss of a brightly colored beach ball by Charlie the Croc - the mascot of Aussie football team the Queensland Bastards.

The cold-blooded critter showed he's got a warm heart after joining in a beach game with some local youths. But a gust of wind put paid to their glee and the friendly man-eater's ball was blown out to sea.

"Unless the tide turns, it looks like that ball aint coming back no time soon", said a muscular, tanned lifeguard, "just like the time little Jimmy got washed out to sea. Poor kid was never seen again. But sometimes I hear his cries…"

Charlie the Croc was inconsolable and flew into a rage, biting one unlucky bystander and swallowing her poodle.

But caring locals have set up a fund to raise donations to purchase a replacement for Charlie.

"I know he'd do the same for me if it was the other way round", said one kindly elderly lady.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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