Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 5 April 2008

image for 2008 Grand National Latest: Police Arrest Suspected Al-Qaeda Terrorists At Finishing Post
A tuna, tomato and lettuce roll today

Police and terrorism officers, acting on a 'hot tip'at the Grand National at Aintree, have arrested seven suspected Al-Qaeda terrorist bomber racegoers during the feature race this afternoon, in the biggest gamble of the year.

The seven, who claim to be from Blackburn, were pounced upon and beaten by police after they were spotted 'looking suspicious' near the finishing post as the horses and riders passed the grandstand at the end of the first circuit.

One of the seven was seen to be feeling around for something in his knapsack, and it was thought he may be about to detonate an explosive device which, in turn, may have startled the horses.

Spectators on the course spoke to journalists about the incident. One of them, Joshua Fauntleroy, a Toff of Cheshire, said:

"Dodgy blighters, the lot of them. Little brown faces up to no good. Had a bomb, one of them, in his satchel. Nasty business."

But one of those arrested, Mohammad Ismail, said:

"Ar wer just gerrin me sandwich out o' bag! Ar wer fair starvin!"

Police later confirmed in a statement that one egg and cress sandwich and a tomato, tuna, and lettuce roll had been found in Mr Ismail's bag, but defended their actions. Chief of Merseyside Police, Chief Inspector Gene Hunt said:

"Bastards! They may not be terrorists, but y' can never be sure with this lot!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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