NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell shocked the sports world when he announced that the NFL would become a Flag Football league starting in 2009.
"America is becoming more violent every day. Football is a violent sport. The NFL is taking proactive measures to stop the violence in its games. Beginning in 2009, the NFL will be a flag football league. Not only will the sport be less violent, but the speed of the game will increase."
Goodell declined to comment further but Detroit Lions General Manager Matt Millen was estatic about the news.
"I have been drafting flag football players since I became the GM of the Lions," Millen said, "All of these years of missing the playoffs will soon come to an end."