Written by Bruno Murphy
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Thursday, 27 March 2008

image for NFL Says NO to Hippies

In an attempt to keep the clean cut image of the earlier decades of the NF, league officials are preparing to rule on an anti-hippie rule in the NFL. Many players such as well known hippie Troy Polamalu of the Steelers feel this rule would be against his freedom of coifs protected by the American Constitution.

"I have the right to wear my hair how ever I feel," said Polamalu. "If I want to look like I stuck my pecker in a toaster or Buckwheat on crack it is my choice."

Representatives of the NFL believe that chopping out the hippies will help with sportsmanship issues that have plagued the NFL in recent years.

One such person was heard, "Getting rid of these long hair freaks makes more sense that fining guys like T.O. and Randy Moss. Heck I would take Michael Vick back before letting those creeps on my field again. At least he took care of his hair."

No ruling has been made yet and the high ups of the NFL have kept quiet about this anti-hippie moment in the NFL.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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