Written by Charlie D. Nowhere

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Topics: Baseball, Bulls

Thursday, 27 March 2008

image for Baseball Is Getting A Much-Needed Facelift - Solomon
Who's on first?!

The MLB announced today major changes to America's favorite past time.

"Baseball is getting a complete make-over," said Jimmie Lee Solomon, Executive Vice President of baseball operations.

Baseball's popularity has been on the decline for a number of years now, many cite more action-packed professional sports and the sudden popularity of video games.

The MLB has been pro-active, sending teams to play abroad to cultivate new audiences in foreign countries.

However, baseball's growing popularity is being out-paced by the popularity of nearly every other pro sport and the video game industry.

"We're loosing our fans so we've decided to do something about it," continued Solomon. "So, we're sending bulls onto the field from time to time, I don't know, maybe once an inning or every other."

The bulls are expected to "enliven" the sport and make it more competitive in today's market.

"That's the whole point," replied Solomon when asked if the bulls pose a real threat to the players. "Shit yeah man, these athletes are going to be running for their lives while rounding the bases. We've got their nuts in a sling and everything. We're going all the way."

During playoffs there may be two bulls on the field from time to time and during the World Series there will always be at least one bull, "sometimes up to three on the field and maybe an alligator or kangaroo or something," said Solomon.

"Yeah, I'm kind of scared, but I believe in Mr. Solomon and if he says it's going to help us all then it's going to help us all," said Alex Rodriguez, short stop for the New York Yankees.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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