Written by Bert Onassis
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Friday, 14 March 2008

image for Convert Fights Unclean Balls
give me clean balls

It has been reported in the Iranian Independent (15th May 2007) that Mohammed Azeri (formally Frank Shuttleworth, now converted) has refused to bowl for Yorkshire's 'Wharfdale 2nd 11' as the leather that covers cricket balls cannot be guaranteed to have been sourced from a Halal killed beast, thereby making the act of bowling into an unclean action punishable by not having a place in heaven at the end of life.

The ramifications of his decision in bringing this to the attention of the worlds press will be huge, as Cricket is played by millions of Muslims in every country ever to have been occupied by the British throughout history.

A similar question has now been brought up with FIFA, the World Association Football Organisation with Huge football countries such as Chad and Somalia boycotting the World Cup Finals and possibly taking out a Fatwa against Pele for introducing Football across Africa introducing an unclean crime, unless all footballs are either made of Halal killed beast skin, or plastic, whichever is cheaper.

George Bush has been heard to have commented, "Cricket, Football... what the f..k are they?"

Ironically, the only balls currently on sale that will pass the Muslim Halal requirements are Kosher balls manufactured under the South Chilean Beth Din and marketed under the trademark "Marrano ball company 'Kosher for Pesach' LTD"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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