When the name 'Brian Barwick' comes to mind, we presume that 'he' is a perfectly normal human being. Not any more.
We can now reveal that Brian is in fact a monkey. The real Brian was found impotent and was deemed unfit to work.
Not wanting to cause panic, the Football Association decided to fill Mr Barwick's post privately. After thousands of interviews, the fa chose Brian the Monkey to fill in the job temporarily.
We can reveal that, after 2 months, the FA decided that Brian had done such a bad job and, sticking to their motto (only bad will do), employed him permanently.
2 years on and he is now believed to have been behind the offside rule, Steve Maclaren's appointment as well as Fabio Capello's.
The FA are still to comment.