Written by Lord B of W
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Tuesday, 11 March 2008

image for Pompey to be awarded FA Cup
The cup is not as magnificent as in previous years

Following an amazing series of results, the FA Cup semi-finals were due to be contested by three lower league clubs and Premiership side Portsmouth.

However, "in order to preserve the dignity of the world's oldest club cup-competition", the surviving premiership side are to be awarded the trophy, "with no further opportunity that they might not win".

Fans from all 4 clubs were outraged at the announcement, all of whom were looking forward to their day(s) out at the new Wembley stadium.

Portsmouth's Harry Redknapp issued a statement that whilst disappointed he accepted the Football Association's reasoning and would gladly accept the trophy, medals, prize money and UEFA cup place next season.

West Brom boss Tony Mowbray said he'd challenge the decision with UEFA, FIFA and anybody else that would listen, although the FA responded in no uncertain terms to "Shut the fuck up!"

FA director of communications Adrian Bovington added, "There's no way that we could let a lower league tinpot outfit like West Brom, Barnsley or fucking Cardiff win the trophy, we'd be the laughing stock of the football world!" Leaving the press conference he was heard muttering "Fucking Cardiff" under his breath, whilst shaking his head and sniggering.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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