Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 10 March 2008

image for FA Cup To Be Seeded Next Season
Fat cat licks lips

The FA Cup, the world's most exciting football competition, is to be seeded next season in a bid to avoid the embarrassing situation that organisers have found themselves in this year, with only minnows occupying the four Semi Final places.

The last four teams in the competition - Barnsley, Cardiff City, Portsmouth and West Bromwich Albion - are hardly the 'cream of the crop', and are seen by organisers, sponsors and cashers-in E.ON, as 'what's left after the big teams stopped trying'.

Next year, according to a press release from the Football Association this morning, the FA Cup will be seeded to prevent another disgraceful repeat of this afternoon's draw, which will guarantee a Championship side in the Final. An FA spokesman said:

"It's ridiculous that fans of the big clubs who bought tickets at the start of the season, won't be able to see their heroes in action at Wembley, and will, instead, have to put up with the likes of Barnsley or Cardiff."

Trevor Brooking, head of FA Inanity, told reporters:

"It's like us in 1976 having to play Fulham, who are, even now, rubbish. The FA Cup is for big teams, not minnows, and it's my job to ensure that the fat cats get fatter.

And John 'Motty' Motson, the BBC knobhead in a sheepskin coat, waxed:

"Without the magic of Manchester United, the silky skills of Arsenal, and the romance of Roman Abramovich and his Chelsea primadonnas, it just isn't cricket."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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