Written by bartlebysnopes
Print this
Topics: Golf, Birds

Friday, 7 March 2008

image for Hawk Had It Coming; Isenhour, Others Laugh at the Dead Bird
The bird was an avid golf fan

Pro Golfer, Tripp Isenhour, may not be in trouble after all.

Earlier this week, the four-time nationwide champ became angry and started hitting golf balls at a hawk that was several hundred yards away. After a few shots, he gave up, but then the hawk came back for more.

Isenhour hit six more balls at the hawk, now 75 feet away, almost hitting it with the sixth, before firing one final shot that smoked the hawk right to the ground. The bird, protected as a migratory bird, bled from the nostrils and then died.

The golfer, who supposedly said "I'll get him now," when the bird got closer, was apologetic at first, but now admits that he thinks what he did was funny. "I was laughing the whole time," he said. "I'm proud of myself for being able to hit a large majestic bird. The thud of the ball hitting him and the way he fell were hilarious. And the blood out the nose, that made it all worth it."

Killing a migratory bird has a maximum penalty of 14 months in prison and a $1500 fine.

But Isenhour isn't likely to get punished. Most Americans seem to agree that this event was humorous.

"This isn't really animal cruelty. This is a display of athleticism, and it just shows a good sense of humor," a sports analyst on ESPN said.

While some animal lovers do want Isenhour punished, a poll of Americans conducted on the ESPN website suggests that most were okay with this event. 75% of Americans said they thought Isenhour's actions were funny, 62% of people said the hawk asked for it, and 80% said he should not be punished at all.

"The way he said 'I'll get him now', acting like the bird was a person, was just funny," the sports analyst said. "After all, it's just a bird, and it was a private golf course. The bird had no busniess being there. And it's not like he electrocuted dogs or anything."

Make bartlebysnopes's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 1?

1 11 12 4
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more