The NY Yankees spring training facility, Legends Field, is to be renamed Steinbrenner Stadium in a ceremony conducted by Steinbrenner Brothers, Hal and Hank. Baseball field landscape designer, Frank Lloyd Formfollasfunk believes he has created the ballfield masterpiece of his career.
FLF: "I have decided that a ballfield should reflect its namesake without care for the game played there. Steinbrenner's character or lack there of will be reflected in my design.
"The incredibly bumpy road he put the Yankees on throughout his ownership will be reexperienced in the speedhumps and bumps distributed randomly throughout the field. Some will be computerized to rise and fall without warning just the way the Baron Von Steingrabber's temper shocked and awed the team."
Other creative features based on the namesake's reputation include bats with real metal spikes resembling medieval maces, a juiced ball that floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, a steroid bar in the home dugout, wheelbarrow full of money, a slave auction of incredible minor league prospects and 17 copies of Billy Martin managerial contracts signed in erasable ink.