Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 21 February 2008

image for Cristiano Ronaldo Has Laser Treatment
Some other types of laser treatment

Cristiano Ronaldo, the gay Manchester United striker, has announced that he has had extensive laser treatment in France, but has not specified which part of his body it was on.

The Portuguese star is known to be extremely vain, and some United fans have noticed that blemishes have recently appeared on his brow and underneath his eyes, which could easily have resulted from too many late nights spent at Gay clubs.

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson told fans on the club's website that Ronaldo always liked to look his best when playing for the Reds:

"The lad's a stunner. He's attracted a lot of attention. It's important to these guys to look like catwalk models when they're prancing around like primadonnas."

Ronaldo's team-mate Wayne Rooney is also thought to be due for a hospital visit, in order to undergo massive plastic surgery in time for his wedding photos in June.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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