Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 15 February 2008

image for Sharapova rival Ana Ivanovic: Federer hates Russian slags
The object of their desires: Roger Federer at play today

Doha, Qatar - (Mixed Doubles Mess): Women's world number two seed Serbian Ana Ivanovic has hit back at press stories linking Russia's Maria Sharapova and Roger Federer romantically as "lurid crap" and denied the Swiss twelve times grand slam champ seduced her in a steamy Flushing Meadows sauna.

"It was at the Stade Roland Garros physio clinic," Ivanovic said today, "and its wasn't just some tawdry, tacky grand-slam-thankyou-mam," Ivanovic scoffed, "it was the spiritual meeting of twin souls, consummating the beginnings of a lifetime's amour."

Doha Women's Open Organisers have billetted Ivanovic safely away from feisty blonde Russian Champion Maria Sharapova after fears of a pre-title catfight breaking out in public.

Ivanovic, 20, has reluctantly refrained from issuing her own YouBoob! video about the Federer tryst after receiving some written advice from Roger Federer's long-time girlfriend Slovakian-born Mirka Vavrinec's lawyers.

"Bah, they don't scare me!" Ivanovic said dissmissively today.

Meanwhile the tennis world's top male celeb newspaper Men With Balls has promised half a million dollars to anybody proving Federer is anything but firmly shackled to his long-suffering fiancee Mirka.

Venus Williams is cock-a-hoop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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