Written by Monkey Woods
Print this

Thursday, 14 February 2008

image for Dwain Chambers To Captain British Olympic Drugs Team
Council diet

British sprinter Dwain Chambers, the drug cheat who received a two-year ban in 2004 after testing positive for a banned steroid, will be free to run in the 2008 Olympic Games, after UK Athletics revealed that new categories of events are to be staged, specifically for drug-takers.

The Games, in Beijing, are to be the first where drugs are allowed, competitors having only to declare whether or not they are cheats, before being placed in the correct pool of athletes. The decision was made by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) in Zurich on Tuesday.

Chambers, 29, expects to be selected for both the 100m Drugs and the 4x100m Drugs relay, if three other drugs fiends can be identified in time. He is also being considered as Captain of the British Drugs team.

Roger Black, the great British 400m runner, who remained clean throughout his illustrious career, said:

"It's a great idea. Let all the cheats run together."

And Dame Kelly Holmes, who doesn't look bad once she's been touched-up by professional make-up artists, said:

"If drugs cheats were to be allowed to run with clean athletes, everyone would soon turn to banned substances. In no time at all, the track would resemble some of these Council estates. Clearly, that would send out the wrong message."

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 4?

9 11 21 4
49 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more