Written by Everyman
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Thursday, 7 February 2008

image for Tiger Woods: "Roger Federer is ugliest man in sport"
Roger Federer has opened a can of ugly worms

Tiger Woods has defended Andy Murray after Roger Federer's unprovoked verbal volley against the British tennis player's lack of looks.

Woods has said that Federer did not deserve to appear in the Gillette adverts with himself and Thierry Henry."Thierry and I were really upset when Roger was lined up to appear with us. He is so unattractive and has zero charisma. Gaining the Gillette deal was the proudest moment of my life - and has made all the hard work at Golf worthwhile. But I feel that Roger's appearance in the ads has taken something away from my achievement. How can he attack Andy Murray about being ugly?"

Andy Murray was still sulking and brooding about Federer's comments - but was delighted by Tiger's savaging of tennis's world number one. "Roger may have got the Gillette posters - but he knows that he is not a natural pin up. I am still working on my tan, and I know I have long way to go. But I can promise you that once I have lost my typically pallid Scottish hue, Roger's face will be a thing of the past and the Gillette contract will be mine"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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