Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 6 February 2008

image for Lewis Hamilton Calls A Truce With Spanish Racists
Ole! Nice hat, amigo!

Lewis Hamilton, the British Formula 1 Racing Driver who was taunted by Spanish racists at the track in Barcelona last weekend, has appealed to his attackers for calm in a statement released today.

A group of five individuals blackened their faces and wore wigs to look like members of Hamilton's family, even scrawling the misspelt 'HAMILTON'S FAMILLY' on their white T-shirts. They heckled and booed the driver, because he finished ahead of Spanish favourite Fernando Alonso in last year's F1 Championship standings.

In his statement, Hamilton says that he was saddened by the attack, and by its ferocity, though, deep down, he wasn't that surprised or bothered, as he has never really liked Spaniards anyway.

Said Hamilton:

"Spics? They're greasy little turds. A hotch-potch mix of Latinos and Moors. 'Mongrels' is how I'd best describe them, or 'dogs', if I could be arsed."

The International Automobile Federation (FIA) has fully endorsed Hamilton's comments, adding:

"Spaniards should stick to being either one of those flamenco dancers or waiters, and water the ass in their backyard."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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