New York - Tragedy struck Midtown Manhattan Friday night when three patrons of Scruffy Duffy's Sports Bar were overcome with Superbowl fever and died; their lifeless bodies discovered in a heap near the dartboards.
"It's the worst case of Superbowl fever I have ever seen," Scruffy Duffy's owner Pat Hughes said as a member of the kitchen staff zipped up the body bags. "This is what happens when love of professional sports goes unchecked."
The trio, longtime Giants fans, succumbed to the fast moving and deadly virus while watching a "Countdown to Superbowl XLII" special on ESPN.
"Watching the Giants move from laughingstocks to league champions filled their minds and hearts with the deadly feeling known as pride," Hughes continued. "Pride is the number three killer here in America, right behind heart disease and love. Lord knows how many more we will lose once preseason baseball starts."