Written by Philomen Osborne
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Wednesday, 30 January 2008

image for RSPB express concern at North East Black Cat revival

RSPB spokesman Peter Hummingbird has expressed great concern at the threat to the continued wellbeing of the Magpie following a Black Cat population explosion in the North East of England.

The Magpie, reputed to be the worlds most populous scavenger, has had little competition in recent years and is finding a black cat revival most disconcerting and extremely worrying. Peter Hummingbird claimed the recent casualty rate would have been higher if it had not been for a helpful smog across the region.

Weather reports for the weekend predict heavy showers and an atmospheric imbalance which will have the ability to effect the mental stability of a number of high profile sporting figures.

Rarely has the juxtaposition of a heavy swirling smog hindered a black cat inspired magpie massacre. The regions magpies are beginning to have an uncharacteristic self doubt of their invincibility.

George Osprey, press officer for Natural England is monitoring the position closely and may consider imposition of protection zones in the Tyne Valley if things get really desperate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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