London - (Cyber-stalking Mess): Police investigating the Kieren Fallon horserace-fixing internet bookmakers' scam say that a pattern of wagers on losing favorites appears to be identical to financial bets made by SocGen trader Jerome Kerviel.
"When we compared the positions that Kerviel took on Nasdaq and FT100-quoted companies during 2007 they were entirely synchronous to all Fallon's alleged race-fix runners," a Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency spokesman said, "including his riding of champion flat-race horse Ouija Board.
"The wagers were a lot bigger, of course, but we managed to trace both sources of insider tipstering to the same clairvoyant mediums from London's College of Psychic Studies who testified at Princess Diana's inquest this week.
"We are looking at inquest evidence from one psychic consultant who told Diana that in 1995 the Queen would abdicate and the Duke of York would become regent to the defacto monarch Prince William.
"William of course is an Opus Dei impostor, and in reality is Tony Blair's grandson and great-grandson of the British traitor Sir Anthony Blunt (sic)."
Meanwhile in Drowning Street Prime Monster Gorgon Brown was said to have locked himself in a toilet with his Blackberry and an anti-wiretap device hooked to the cistern, frantically texting George Soros at his Davos hotel.
An update will be published soon.