They've had over two thousand years to get ready - and they claim they are. But how ready is ready? theSpoof investigates….
Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams, wrote Yeats not about the Olympics not held in Ireland so may years ago. But you could be forgiven for thinking that such an injunction could apply to Athens in 2004, home of the Olympics - for with so many facilities so unfinished barely five (5) months away from the naff inaugural ceremony which is bound to be staged at this most significant games in the last four years, dreams may be all there is.
With so many of the building sites strewn with the bodies of dead Greek workmen, some of whom actually did something before they sacrificed themselves, and with so many of the building sites just resembling building sites strewn with Greek salads and olives, there is serious doubt as to whether the games will be able to go ahead in anything other than a virtual form.
"Look" said Leonard Swindley, spokesprat for the Chairman of the Olympic committee Mr Papadopulos, "we're getting there. What do you want of us? We cannot compete with you European types. We do as we're told and that's that. Sony will be releasing the official Olympic 2004 game in due course. Then all the deserving nations will win. As for real athletes - well who needs those? They're all junkies anyway. Need a line? If you do there's….."
At that point Leonard Swindley fell off his chair and dinked his head on the floor. After which he was somewhat subdued……