CAN-BOORA, AUSTRALIA: Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Aussie cricket players succeeded in taking this 'gentleman's game' to unbelievable lows this month during matches against India.
With charges of racism, umpiring blunders, excessive Aussie provocation and breaking of gentleman's pacts filling the air, cricket yobs Down Under have found their unique "Aussie culture" coming under an international microscope.
Prime Minister Kevin Andrews, taking time off from an ear-wax munching buffet, cautioned Aussie cricketers against overly provoking India as it is "a nuclear power and has over 120 nukes in its possession".
Aussie captain Tricky Ponting laughed: "We don't fear those curry-muncher bastards, we'll sledge them on. All's fair in love and cricket, mate".
Meanwhile following an emergency Security Council meeting, the UN has appointed Kanga "Skippy" Roo-ney, a former Irish Skipper as mediator, to resolve this dispute.
As India continues with its tour, former Aussie PM John Howard told media that local cops had found Indian spinner "Haneef Singh's" mobile card at Sydney Airport.
"What was it doing there, surely there are terrorist links", queried a confused and disheveled Howard.
Real PM Andrews quickly apologized by re-assuring India that Australia would make amends for its boorish behavior by providing India enough uranium to fuel all its nuclear reactors.