Written by Honcho McLopez
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Topics: NASCAR

Sunday, 6 January 2008

image for Oil the Engine Lubricant of Choice for NASCAR

The timeless classic - auto racing - is garnering more and more fans as time goes on, and often these same rabid fans overlook some of the simple yet crucial things that go into this highly charged sport.

Often, race car drivers choose to lubricate their engines, to prevent damage, and increase the efficiency of their race car engines.

Through the years, many professional race car drivers have chosen various substances to lube their engines, such as corn, beef stew, lobster claws, churned puffy butter, 40-proof liquors, and even mineral water. It was not until this year that a more recent development in engine lubricant viscosity was realized, and the facts are in: statistically, more NASCAR drivers have chosen oil as the lubricant of choice.

Cal "Hooptey" Wiggins, the driver and team captain for Trojins Condoms, offers his experience - "Never before has my engine purred like this. I repeatedly make it through races now with absolutely NO engine faults or breakdowns. The performance is simply out of this world!"

Next, the NASCAR Safety panel is examining ways to keep the drivers strapped in the seats of their racecars, due to the frequent airborne drivers seen when cars flip and roll. Some innovative ideas have come from the panel, including a seat belt, which will buckle at one end, and strap the driver into their seats.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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