Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 29 December 2007

image for Andy Murray To Play Wimbledon 2008 In Kilt
No balls, please!

Andy Murray, the moody Scottish tennis player, is heading for a showdown with the games ruling body, after he declared his intention to break the strict dress code for Wimbledon 2008, by wearing a tartan kilt with NOTHING UNDERNEATH.

The Scot, 20, told listeners of BBC Radio Scotland, that he believes his erratic form, not to mention a host of frustrating and annoying injuries, are the result of being "too restricted" by traditional shorts, and that he needs more freedom to express himself on court.

The International Testicle Federation (ITF) has said that dress codes must be observed, and that any male competitor indecently exposing himself on court would be thrown out of the tournament in which he was competing. The same rule did not apply to the women's game, however, where the ITF deemed that "scanty is best".

It's now thought that Murray's former coach Brad Gilbert was sacked because he protested too vocally about the British no.1's 'commando plan', though the American has been unavailable for comment.

Former British no.1 Tim Henman, who, for a while, had a hill named after him, said:

"Andy's been experimenting with his swing, as well as his lob."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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