Written by Hunzy
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Topics: Marion Jones

Sunday, 25 November 2007

image for Marion Jones to have Garage Sale
Jones has a surprising amount of old hats for sale

Monte Carlo, Monaco (AP) - Due to the recent hardships Marion Jones has lost everything including her house and is now living out of a boxcar in the Monaco rail yard.

Jones has been stripped of all her records and owes the Track and Field Governing Body $700,000. Marion Jones is having to part with some of her most beloved items. On Sunday November 25, Jones will be having an official garage sale where she will be selling several relics of the past years.

Jones will be sailing all medals that she won at the 2000 Olympics and 2001 World Games. Other random items to be sold will be Sammy Sosa's Cork Bat and the Dennis Rodman Tattoo and Hair Bleach Kit. While these medals are prized items, the more sought after prizes will be the doping needles and left over shipments of Clear that she will be selling to aspiring track and field athletes.

For an official list of all other possible items please visit the Marion Jone's Garage Sale List at Craig'slist.com.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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