Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 23 November 2007

image for Benitez To Be Next England Boss
Rafa Benitez when the phone rang

Rafa Benitez, the Spanish-looking Liverpool boss, is thought to be the primary target for the vacant England football manager's job, and has been contacted by the chief executive of that shambolic organisation, Brian Barwick.

Benitez, whose wife Montse answered the phone because she can speak English, is currently involved in a bitter row with his American bosses over transfer issues, and may be tempted to try where Steve McClaren failed, that is, to make England a half-decent team.

The Spaniard has done a similar job at Anfield since his arrival and, when he has finally mastered the English language, he may no longer need the services of a translator to explain things to his team.

McClaren ws fired on Thursday, and today came the news that England will not be amongst the top seeds when the 2010 World Cup groupings are drawn in South Africa on Sunday. This means more tricky games loom against opponents such as Northern Ireland, Albania, Cyprus and Bosnia Herzogovnea, which I don't even know if I've spelt correctly.

Benitez was predictably cagey when asked by BBC Radio 5 Live's Basil Rathbone whether or not he would be interested in the England job, saying only:

"Que?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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