Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 20 November 2007

image for Martin Jol Would Rather Sign On The Dole Than Take Birmingham Job
Martin Jol this morning

Martin Jol, until recently the manager of Tottenham Hotspur, has rejected an approach from Birmingham City, saying that he would "rather sign on at the dole office."

Hollandish Jol, who was sacked after Spurs' poor start to the season, claims to have been offered the vacant manager's position at St. Andrews, left when Steve Bruce took up his new post at Wigan, the pie-eating capital of the world.

According to Jol, Birmingham co-owner Dave Sullivan called him "at three in the morning", but the Dutchman swore down the phone at him, telling him that when he got that desperate, he would "look for a high building to jump from".

Friends of Jol say that he briefly considered the offer, but only if he could live 'a long way from Birmingham", where people are known to be a bit daft. On reflection though, he told them, he would rather claim unemployment benefit, or just turn into a wino, than manage the Blues.

Sullivan, for his part, has denied that Jol was offered the job of manager, saying:

"I needed a bald, fat, bloke for a grumbleflick - he would have been perfect!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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