Written by damian parry
Print this

Monday, 12 November 2007

image for Arsene Wenger in Johnny Foreginer Storm
there's trouble aht mill

Arsene Wenger, the semi-sighted manager of Arsenal has today become embroiled in fresh controversy, this time regarding his real identity and nationality.

Reporters delving into Professor Wengers murky past have today revealed that he is not French as previously thought, but is in reality an Englishman from Hebden Bridge.

It can be revealed that his real identity is in fact Archibald Dingle, a former professional pigeon fancier in his native Yorkshire, who in the late eighties was prosecuted for taking the term 'pigeon fancier' a little too literally and was successfully prosecuted by the RSPCB on several counts of avian abuse. These charges led to him disappearing for several years before resurfacing under his new identity.

The revelations seem to cast serious doubt on his future at the club, whose board have called an extraordinary meeting to discuss the matter further, with calls for his immediate dismissal most likely.

A source close to the club confided; "dealing quickly with this matter is of course a matter of great urgency to the board. A club of the stature of Arsenal can not afford to be seen to have an Englishman as manager"

When asked to comment on the reports, Monsieur Dingle replied; "I haven't seen owt"

Make damian parry's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 3?

6 9 5 12
74 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more