Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 10 November 2007

image for Manchester United Sign Another "Little Lad"
Some of United's "little lads"

Manchester United have announced this morning that they have signed another youngster to add to their growing ranks of "little lads".

This time they have dug deep into their coffers to acquire John Cofie, a 14-year-old German-born Ghanaian, who has a French father and a Spanish mother, but who currently lives in Italy. The fee, payable to sleeping giants Burnley, is, as yet, undisclosed.

United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is known to be a keen planner, and now has eighteen players on the Reds' books that are under the age of 15.

Cofie, who wants to be a train driver or an astronaut when he grows up, has scored 150 goals in twelve Burnley Reserves' outings, and spends his spare time delivering newspapers and playing on his Playstation3.

Burnley are gutted but they need the cash.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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