Written by Jeff Brone
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Topics: University

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

image for University of North Dakota Changes Team Name

The University of North Dakota, in an effort to appease the NCAA, has changed the name of it's teams from "The Fighting Sioux" to "The Violent Italian Mafioso."

The NCAA, sensitive to the use of the image of a Native American in an aggressive or "fighting" pose, is like many others in that they really like the use of Italian American images in the same position.

A spokesman for the NCAA, Sven Jorgensen, said "While we object to the use of aggressive images of Native Americans, the image of the violent Italian is very common in movies, television, and literature, and people seem to love it. I even think the Italians like it, bless their macaroni cooking hearts!

"I have lots of Italian friends, and I know they like their 'fish calamari' and 'red sauce' like in the movies and "The Sopranos" and things Joe Pesci is in. I'm sure they also like loan sharking and "whacking" people who get in their way, too. It's kind of fun to think about!"

A spokesman for the Italian American League, David Riccono, stated that the average American of Italian descent is a "Law abiding citizen who wouldn't dream of doing anything violent. He doesn't hurt people, he is faithful to his spouse, and he never says "fugeddabout it." Mr. Riccono seemed offended when reporters asked if he "wanted anyone knocked off" over this incident.

In a related story, the Notre Dame football team will be renamed the "Peaceful, sober Irish who get along well with the British."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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