Written by Kent Pete
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Topics: TV, Boxing

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

image for Gloves are off in Calzaghe/Kessler war of words
Nasty bastards.

The recent attempt by the Boxing authorities to make the sport more family friendly came to an abrupt end as Joe Calzaghe met Dane Mikkel Kessler for the first time here in Cardiff last night.

The press conference that the WBO hoped would promote the more respectable side of boxing descended into farce as first Calzaghe and then Kessler turned the air blue in a display of meat headery not seen in Britain since the resignation of fat arsed politician John Prescott.

When asked by the gentle and presumably gay BBC Newsround reporter Adam Fleming what he thought of his Danish opponent the 'Italian Dragon' replied, "I'm gonna rip his gypsy head off, the miserable fuckin' arse licking muppet". He then mockingly grabbed the presenter's young testicles and whispered the words, "Mine Twinkie, mine."

A visibly shocked Fleming, realising the interview was being beamed straight into the newsround studio, turned desperately to Kessler and asked, "Mikkel, Joe has been the champion for some time now. Would you like to tell our young viewers what it is like to finally have a crack at the world title?"

To which the boxer replied, "Den ice synes om kisse din grande vet kuntz."

The BBC's desperate attempt to prevent the broadcast being transmitted live to Copenhagen unfortunately failed and they now brace themselves for the inevitable Danish backlash.

Speaking to reporters today BBC Chairman Michael Grade said, "I can only apologise to our viewers across Europe. We did explain to the men that we were broadcasting to a younger audience. They obviously have no respect for family values. Personally I hope they beat the shit out of each other on November the third. Brainless fuckers."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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