Written by Mister Meaner
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Saturday, 27 October 2007

image for Liverpool Manager Rafa Benitez To Become Nightclub Bouncer (Again)
The Phoenix Club

Under-fire Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez, reacting angrily to criticism after his team were beaten 2-1 in Turkey this week, has threatened to leave the club, and to return to his former calling as a bouncer.

And it won't take him long to get to his former place of employment, because, in real life, Benitez is none other than Max who manned the doors with Patrick 'Paddy' O'Shea at the Phoenix Club in Bolton.

After Max, real name Maxwell Bygraves, left the Phoenix, he and Paddy drove a motorhome around Europe where he contrived to secure the manager's position at Valencia, before being lured back to his native Northwest to take the reins at Anfield.

Now though, after he committed a 'criminal offence' in substituting £200,000-a-week captain Steven Gerrard in last week's Merseyside Derby, Max has lost the support of the Reds' fans, who have labelled him 'Manuel', 'Que?', 'Spic' and 'Chiselchin'.

Bygraves' old friend from Bolton, Brian Potter, said:

"There'll always be a spot for Max on the doors at the Phoenix!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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