Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Saturday, 27 October 2007

image for Mourinho and Ball earmarked as Staunton and Robsons successors
John Terry, Irelands new Captain?

Jose Mourinho and Maurice Ball have been installed as the bookies favourite to succeed Steve Staunton and Bobby Robson as the new management team to manage the Republic of Ireland football team.

Mourinho and Ball have emerged as the dream team favoured by the FAI, to salvage some semblance of credibility from the appaling qualifying campaign for the failed Euro 2008 qualifiers.

Outlining their credentials and strategy for the the qualification stage for World Cup 2010 Messrs Mourhino and Ball were quizzed over a light lunch of Merlot, Guinness and cheese toasties.

Mourhino spoke passionately about his desire to enter the fickle world of International management "I would like to pay tribute to Steve Staunton. But I cannot. He was terrible and his suits were cheap. I am the one. Who else could take the Irish team and make them World Champions. Who? Only me. Jose

"Look at what I have achieved so far, I am magnificent, I cannot speak highly enough of myself, so I will allow Maurice to praise me for a moment"

Maurice kept the worlds sports media waiting as he excused himself and visited the men's room.
On his return he addressed the media "Sorry lads, I was busting for a hit and miss. Jose's a decent oul skin, we've been penpals since we were nippers and de missus loves him so I reckon between the two of us we should do a bleedin great job, Jose has some ideas on bringing in new player's. Jose?"

"Drogba, Lampard and John Terry will now play for Ireland, I will tell FIFA to change the rules for me. Only me. I am special"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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