Written by Will The Thrill
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Topics: Basketball

Sunday, 5 August 2001

image for John Starks ball playing days may be over

Utah Jazz guard John Starks hasn't been the same since his playing minutes shrunk this past season. Just recently he found out his testicle was missing.

The cause is indirectly related to his decline in minutes, Says Dr. Haima Qwak Dr, Qwak who studied psychology at Ensayne University claims it's possible for a male regarded in high stature to show physical disfigurement when stripped from his ego.

Dr. Qwak states, "In John's case he coulnd't face the fact that he's not playing to his team's standard. This feeling of inadequacy resulted in the loss of a man's most prized possession. I'll give John the same advice I gave to Charles Smith who couldn't find his penis after missing three consecutive shots under the basket against The Chicago Bulls. Quit...It's over. Your best days are gone..face it."

I guess there's a lot to be said when someone tells you "You don't have the balls".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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