Disappointed with the World Cup Final defeat against South Africa, Jonny Wilkinson, the English 'David Beckham' has placed the entire blame for England's loss on Buddha.
"I'm really disappointed," said Wilkinson to reporters after the game. "I prayed to Buddha - or whatever it is that Buddhists do - tried to recognise the unchanging nature of the Dharma and yet this is how we are repaid? I think Buddha's highly overrated. I shan't been going to any Buddhist church's from now on. Or temples if that's what they have,"
The England team have every right to feel aggrieved, in that the game was lost solely on penalties awarded to the Springboks following England's inability to 'not give away stupid penalties within easy kicking range for Percy Montgomery'.
Rumour soon spread throughout the crowd at the final that Percy Montgomery - or 'Prince Charming' - as he is known to fans of the 'boks, had in fact sold his soul to Satan in return for the victory against England. A fact hotly disputed by the South African team.
"The Prince of Darkness probably outranks Buddha in the deity league table," added Wilkinson. "The Devil is on a par with God whereas Buddha is just some laughing fat bloke," continued Jonny, failing to realise that Buddha was not a God but more of a being that achieves a fully awakened state of enlightenment.
It looks very likely that coach, Brian Ashton's contract will be extended following England's better than expected performance in the competition.
"He's planning on converting the team to Judaism for the 2011 finals," Wilkinson added. "I have to have something called a brit mila first. I don't know what it is but it sounds like quite a bit of fun."
It's all true - almost - Source