Written by Duff
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Friday, 12 October 2007

image for Ian 'Beefy' Botham Slams Royal Do As "A Right Shambles"
Sir Beefy's new wax work unveiled at Madame Truffaut's yesterday

Sir Ian "Beefy" Botham has astonished courtiers by slamming arrangements for his sirring today.

The former darling of English cricket stunned Buckingham Palace officials by asking:

"When's that old dear coming to bop me on the nut with the sword?" Before getting "proper eggy" with a footman. Palace insider, Prince Andrew, told us:

"One was flabbergasted by Beefy's performance. One always admired him when he played cricket but one has had to revise one's opinion of him now"

But the final straw is said to have come when The Queen refused to call him "Sir" when they were having a sherry after the sirring.

Botham is reported to have flown into a rage before chinning a Queen's Own Highlander and mooning a lady in waiting.

He was later seen in trendy London watering hole, The Ivy, in London's trendy West End were we understand he drank heavily before returning home in the wee small hours.

Beefy's former arch-enemy but now best mate, Alan "lamby" Lamb told us:

"That's Beefy for you. He's a real character!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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